Well, I realize nobody besides me reads this but that’s ok. I don’t like people, there I said it once again. Well here’s the thing I went/am still going to college to help people, the very thing I claim not to like. I am just wondering how I cannot like people but devote a whole career to helping them. I told my buddy in college first time I met you that I don’t like people. She looked at me and said “you know this job is helping people, saving people” which was how we started off our friendship. Ever since then I wondered why? Why do I want to help them? Fast forward a few years, and I still don’t like people but I like helping them. Then today happens, I was having an emotionally shitty day. I went shopping by myself to think. Then the weirdest thing happens to me, good people. Then it made me think back to other good people that have walked through my life.
Basically I had an eye opening day. I now know why I don’t like people but why am I willing to spend the rest of my life helping them. That fact is I am jaded by all the people that treated me like crap, that I didn’t matter too, and that said I wasn’t good enough. I guess I do like people, I care about people in general. I have a big heart, I just keep it guarded from “people”. What I am trying to say is even though I say I don’t like people, deep down I do. I don’t have many friends and that makes me sad. The reason why I don’t have many friends is because of my past and current dealings with bad people.
Also I have found myself getting really annoyed with people that treat other people like crap. I personally hate it when they do it to me, while at their job. I think to myself if I treated you like that at my job I wouldn’t have one. Anyhow, the good people I encountered today help me see why it is that I choose the career I did. Also that their still are good people.
Kisses,
Lady BLAH BLAH